Smoke Trail
by BerryBerryBlitz
Summary: An bad habit of Usagi's turns into something neither him nor his lover had anticipated will the two lovers be able to make it through this predicament? Or will the two of them lose all hope? MisakiXUsagi Boyxboy (DUH it's Junjou Romantica XD) PS: I decorated le cover Finished SEQUEL CALLED LOVE OF THE SPIRIT WILL BE POSTED SOON!
1. Chapter 1 : Cough

**_I don't edit my stories ~ hope you enjoy~_**

**CHAPTER 1: Cough**

**Misaki POV**

I had just finished cleaning up Usagi's study room, he had just barely gotten past the deadline for one of his books. As always his study area looked like a tornado flew through the room, or maybe two.

_I still can't believe how a room can get this bad just from Usagi writing_

"Usagi! The study area is finished!"

I poked my head out of the room and hollered to Usagi.

"okay Misaki, come down stairs for a bit"

Usagi called up from downstairs in the living room.

_Usagi's voice sounds a bit off, maybe he's catching a cold._

I placed the broom against the computer chair then went down stairs. I heard Usagi coughing fiercely.

"Usagi you okay?"

The silver haired man nodded through his coughing.

" yea- I jus- need water"

He answered, he sounded terrible. I frowned then went to get Usagi a glass of water.

_Usagi, you've been smoking too much_

I held a finger under the running tap water, waiting for the water to turn cold. Once it was cold I filled up a glass cup and hurried it over to the coughing Usagi.

He gratefully took the glass and gulped it down, when he was finished he placed the glass on the coffee table.

"Thank you Misaki"

Usagi's voice sounded sort of raw, I placed a hand on my forehead and the other on Usagi's forehead.

"You don't seem to have a fever Usagi, but you should still get some rest"

I sighed, it was just like Usagi to be ill after a few days of overworking himself.

_It's his fault though for waiting until the last minute to start his projects._

"I guess I will go and get some rest.."

Usagi murmured as he got up off of the red sofa and started heading up the stairs. I took the empty glass off of the table and went to wash it in the sink.

I suddenly heard a loud crash, I dropped the glass and it shattered on the floor. I ran to the stairs and saw Usagi collapsed.

"USAGI!"

I ran over to Usagi, his breathing was laboured and he was unconscious.

_Usagi what happened?! What do I do?! Usagi is_...

I grabbed my cell and dialled 9-1-1

I could hear my heart pounding loudly inside my chest as I waited for someone to pick up. I caught my breath when a lady answered the phone.

Lady: this is emergency services what is wrong

Me: help my boyfriend has collapsed and he is having difficulty breathing!

Lady: okay I'm sending an ambulance right away

I waited for the ambulance, I didn't dare leave Usagi's side, I was to afraid he'd disappear if I took my eyes off him.

Why did this have to happen?

I waited for what seemed like forever, my heart skipped a beat when I heard the ambulance and people came barging in. They picked up Usagi and placed him on a stretcher. I followed then in the ambulance as we headed to the hospital.

_Usagi... This better be a false alarm.. Please_

**Usagi POV:**

I had just gotten out of hell, by hell I mean the end of deadline manuscript rush. I felt utterly exhausted as I leaned against the red sofa in the living room. Misaki had went into my study area to clean up the mess I made.

I stifled a cough, an action I had been doing often lately.

_I hate colds.. It always makes my throat and chest hurt a lot. Especially this time._

_Maybe having fun with my Misaki will make me feel a little better._

"Usagi! The study area is finished!"

_Perfect timing!_

Misaki hollered from upstairs.

"okay Misaki, come down stairs for a bit"

I called back up to my Misaki, calling hurt. It felt like a knife had cut open my chest. I winced a bit them started to cough fiercely, I tried to stifle my coughs but it just didn't work.

I heard Misaki come down the stairs and rush over to me.

"Usagi you okay?"

Misaki looked at me, his emerald eyes were filled with worry. I nodded as I coughed.

" yea- I jus- need water"

Speaking hurt so much, my throat wasn't what was hurting when I talked. Misaki frowned then hurriedly went to get me a glass of water. He waited until the water was perfectly cold, he then rushed the glass over to me.

_Why does this hurt so much?!_

I gratefully accepted the glass of cold water, I greedily gulped it down. It didn't stop the pain, but it helped stop the coughing. I placed the empty glass on the coffee table.

"Thank you Misaki"

My voice sounded strange to me, Misaki seemed to hear it strangely too. He placed a hand on his forehead then a hand on mine.

_My Misaki is so adorable_

"You don't seem to have a fever Usagi, but you should still get some rest"

Misaki sighed after he spoke.

_Rest seems like an good idea.._

"I guess I will go and get some rest.."

I murmured as I got up off of the red sofa, it was so comfy, I didn't want to get up. I went and headed up the stairs, Misaki went to go clean the glass.

I suddenly started to feel weak, my legs began to feel like jello. I leaned on the railing of the stairs heavily to try and keep my balance, I held my head. Everything around me was spinning.

_What's happening to me?!_

I felt a sudden pain in my chest. I saw the stairs rushing towards me before everything went black.

**_Ah... This story is already complete on my main writing website called Wattpad~ If you're impatient for the other chapters then visit wattpad and search up the person called BerryBerryBlitz_**


	2. Chapter 2 : Anxiety Problems

**I still don't edit~~**

**Chapter 2 : Cough**

**Misaki POV**

_... Please be okay..If I were to lose you I'd..Please let this be just one of his regular collapses from overwork_

I couldn't stop myself from panicking as I rode in the ambulance with Usagi, the sirens were deafening. I was hoping this was all a kind of sick dream.

After what felt like forever I felt the ambulance stop, I held my breath as the doors were opened and Usagi was carried into the hospital.

_Please Usagi.. Be okay.. I need you_

I hurriedly followed the doctors who were carrying Usagi, not wanting to leave the silver haired mans side. He was rushed into a room, I went to follow but a doctor stopped me at the door.

"I'm sorry sir, but you'll need to stay out of the room while we're treating the patient"

I hated those words the doctor said, I didn't want to leave Usagi. I sighed and nodded, knowing that if I argued I would waste their time they could be using to help Usagi.

I waited outside of the door, impatiently. I watched the clock on the wall, the seconds ticking by made me anxious.

_Why is it taking so long?Usagi...What's wrong with you?It's just overwork right? It shouldn't be taking this long.._

I could feel myself starting to panic, I needed to know if Usagi was okay. I could feel my heart rate increasing and I sat down on the floor outside of Usagi's hospital room. A passing nurse noticed me.

"Are you okay?"

Her voice was filled with worry, I didn't respond to the nurse. I was too lost in my thoughts. I was staring at the ground my eyes wide.

_It shouldn't be taking this long..Usagi.. Please be okay, please just let it be that the doctors are slow let this all be a false alarm._

"Sir? I asked if you were okay"

The nurse had knelt down and was shaking my shoulder. I paid no heed to her.

_Something is wrong, something is definitely wrong, I shouldn't try to fool myself. Usagi is not okay... I just know it..If he was.. Why is this taking so long?It usually takes no more than an hour for Usagi to recover..Usagi.._

"Sir! Please respond!"

The nurse was now shaking my shoulder even more, I looked up at her as she called for assistance. I felt so lifeless.

I smiled sadly at the nurse.

"Yeah.. I'm okay.. Sorry for worrying you"

The nurse gently grabbed my arm and forced me to stand.

"Sir, you were starting to have a panic attack, please follow me"

I was given no choice but to follow her.

_Panic attack?_

I laughed a bit to myself.

_Usagi is sick in the hospital and I go and make myself have an panic attack..huh funny._

The nurse lead me into a small hospital room and told me to lye down.

"I don't need to lye down, I'm not sick! I need to be near Usagi!"

The nurse smiled sympathetically at me.

"You need to calm down, if you don't you will end up needing a hospital room. I know you want to be with this Usagi, but it will do yourself no good to get sick from panicking"

The nurses voice was firm, I could tell that there would be no arguing with her. I sighed sadly.

_I'm sorry Usagi I'm not able to be by your side right nowI want to be.. But I can'tJust know that I'm praying for your health._

The nurse gave me a pill to help calm me down, it seemed to work. I no longer felt panicked but I still was worried about Usagi.

The nurse was called down to help with another patient, when she left I took the chance to sneak back to outside of Usagi's door. I could hear voices inside, but I couldn't tell who they belonged to. I leaned against the door eager to find out who was talking inside. My heart skipped a beat when I heard Usagi's voice.

**Thats the end of chapter 2 ~ I'll upload other chapters when I'm not busy~ it's a pain with my IPod**..


	3. Chapter 3 : Cruel Joke

**Amount of editing ... 0%**

**Chapter 3 : Cruel Joke**

**Misaki POV**

I was eavesdropping, I had placed my head on the door trying to make out what they were saying. Their words were muffled so I leaned fully on the door.

_Usagi's awake! He's okay!_

I heard footsteps come towards the door and the handle turning. The door was opened by the doctor and I fell into the room.

Usagi chuckled, his lavender eyes filled with amusement.. And something else.I hopped over to Usagi, eager to be near him.

"Usagi, you had me worried sick!"

_Literally_..

Usagi smiled at me kindly, something seemed off about the way he was acting.

"Usagi, you are okay right?"

I could feel unease starting to envelope me.

"Yeah, it was just due to stress, a slight fever, overwork and not eating for a few days"

I felt my knees weaken from relief, I sank down to the floor with a relieved sigh.

_Thank god_ _you're okay, I guess it was just nothing to worry about_.

I smiled at Usagi.

"Want to go home now?"

Usagi didn't respond, he avoided eye contact. The doctor coughed to get our attention.

"Takahashi-kun it's true that the reason Usami-San came to the hospital was minor... However-"

"However what?!"

I cut the doctor off, something didn't seem right with the way Usagi was acting, I could tell something was definitely wrong.

_Please let it be that he just needs to rest_

"Takahashi-kun... When we examined Usami-San we found something unexpected.. We found that lung cancer has appeared inside of Usami-San"

I couldn't believe the words that I heard.

_Usagi has lung cancer...__Is it from him smoking too much? __I'm sorry Usagi.. I should have stopped you. __I was already worried about your smoking a long time ago... I mentioned it to you. __I allowed you to brush off my concerns.. I should have been more forceful in making you quit, even I know that quitting would have been tough for you.. But I should have stopped you still. __I'm the one who had the concerns.. I should have been more audible with them.. It's my fault you didn't quit, If I really tried I could have_ _made you quit_...

"Oi Misaki! Hello? Misaki!"

I hadn't noticed that Usagi was calling me the entire time, I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled uneasily at Usagi.

"Yeah? What do you need Usagi?"

I tried to push all my guilt to the back of my mind.

_I can't let Usagi know that I know that it's my fault.. He'll just try to convince me otherwise._

Usagi frowned at me, then wrapped his kind arms around me.

"I'm sorry Misaki..I'm so sorry"

Usagi's voice sounded so hollow and empty.

"Usagi..how long?.."

I could feel myself tense up as I asked, I didn't want to know. I needed to know, how much time I had with Usagi left.

**Usagi POV**

I awoke suddenly, I looked around confused.

_Why am I in a hospital?_

I could feel that the pain I had felt beforehand had lessened significantly, I felt slightly disoriented.

"Usami-San, it seems you're awake, how are you feeling?"

The voice startled me, I looked around and saw a doctor beside me.

"I'm feeling okay, where is Misaki?"

The doctor motioned towards the door.

"I told Takahashi-kun to stay out"

_Misaki must have been worried sick, I need to see him to show him that I'm okay_

"Thank you for helping me, I'm going to go now"

I knew I sounded a little rude but I wanted to see Misaki. I went to get up but the doctor stopped me, I looked up at him confused.

"Usagi.. I have something to tell you.. Your illness may have been minor but something unexpected showed up on the results"

_Unexpected_?...

"What would that be?..."

The doctor's tone of voice he used made me feel uneasy, I didn't like it at all. The doctor cleared his throat.

"You seem to have developed lung cancer"

I sat there in shock, I couldn't believe what the doctor had said.

_Lung cancer? __I'm going to die?... Misaki.. I don't want to leave my Misaki.. I've got to see him... __I want to spend the rest of my time with him. __I can't leave my Misaki all alone.._

I looked at the doctor.

"How much time do I have left?"

My voice was emotionless.

"You have ******** left"

**(A/N) I'm that jerk who will make the answer be in the next chapter •3• hehe**

I can't believe that, I didn't want to believe it. I only had ******* till I had to leave my Misaki all alone.

We heard, the sound of someone leaning on the door, the doctor got up and opened it. Misaki fell into the room. I chuckled at Misaki's little tumble, I was happy to see him yet sad that I will have to leave him alone.

My sweet Misaki eagerly hopped over to my side, he seemed slightly pale.

_He must have been so worried, Im afraid to tell him_..

"Usagi, you had me worried sick!"

_Heh I guessed right_

I forced myself to smile, I wanted to look strong for Misaki's sake.

_He's going to have to find out_..

"Usagi, you are okay right?"

Misaki, I'm sorry

"Yeah, it was just due to stress, a slight fever, overwork and not eating for a few days"

I felt bad for lying but I didn't want my Misaki to be upset. I noticed Misaki's knees tremble and he sank down onto the floor with a relieved sigh.

_You were so relieved... Now I feel even worse about lying to you Misaki_

Misaki gave me one of his lovely smiles, I just loved the way his eyes shined when he was happy.

"Want to go home now?"

I didn't respond, I averted my gaze away from Misaki's. The doctor coughed and caught both of our attention.

"Takahashi-kun it's true that the reason Usami-San came to the hospital was minor... However-"

"However what?!"

Misaki cut off the doctor, it pained me to see him worry, I wanted to see his smiling face again. I knew I couldn't for a while though.

_Misaki please be strong_

"Takahashi-kun... When we examined Usami-San we found something unexpected.. We found that lung cancer has appeared inside of Usami-San"

I saw a look of despair cover my Misaki's face, his head lowered and he was silent.

"Hey Misaki?"

He was acting strange I touched his shoulder but he didn't react.

"Oi Misaki! Respond!"

I shook him but he still didn't respond.

_What is going on inside of my Misaki's head?! __What could he possibly be thinking, you better not be thinking of a way to blame yourself!_

"Misaki please answer me!"

I was now worried about the lack of response I was getting from Misaki, the doctor hurried over to him and placed two fingers on his wrist. He looked up at me.

"His pulse had increased significantly, he's not in danger but he must be experiencing slight shock"

_Misaki..Please respond to me.. __You're scaring me.. Everything will turn out okay.. __I won't leave you till I am forced to by death.._

"Oi Misaki! Hello? Misaki!"

Misaki suddenly snapped out of his trance and smiled at me.

_Misaki.. Your false smile is nothing like your true smile_..

"Yeah? What do you need Usagi?"

Misaki's hurt right now.. I've got to make him feel secure and safe

I frowned slightly then wrapped my arms around my Misaki, I inhaled his familiar scent happily yet sadly, not wanting the day that I won't be able to hold my Misaki like this to come.

"I'm sorry Misaki..I'm so sorry"

I couldn't stop the sadness from entering my words.

"Usagi..how long?.."

Misaki tensed up a bit as he asked his simple question.

_I don't want to answer you Misaki, I know that if I do you'll_...

**Hope ya enjoyed le chapter~**


	4. Chapter 4 : Escape the harsh truth

**Still not editing...**

**Chapter 4 : Escape the harsh truth**

**Misaki POV**

I heard Usagi inhale then exhale, as if preparing himself to speak.

_That's not a good sign.._

"Misaki... I...have two months left... To live.."

_Two months...two short months until Usagi has to leave me..._

"Oh.. I see, well I guess we better make all the memories we can"

I had to force myself to smile, If I didn't, I knew that I would break down into tears for sure.

"Misaki.."

Usagi's voice was low, I turned away from him and picked up our things.

"Usagi let's go home, you're better from you fatigue right?"

I could feel that I couldn't keep up my front long if I looked at Usagi right now.

_Usagi.. I promise I'll do my best to make these two months the best months you've ever had.. It's the least I could do for you.__You've done so much for me already..__The least I can do is repay you the best I can_

"Yes I am.. Misaki.. I-"

"Okay then what are we waiting for let's go"

I cut Usagi off and forced myself to laugh, I wanted to be home with Usagi. I needed time for everything to sink in.

_Two months.. What will I do after that?.. __Maybe I could follow Usagi and be with him.._

Me and Usagi took a cab home, we didn't have our red foreign sports car with us and I wouldn't allow Usagi to walk home. Not after coming out of the hospital. For once, I didn't mind Usagi spending his money for a luxury.

When we arrived home Usagi paid the cab driver then we entered our apartment. I turned towards him with a smile.

"Usagi you're hungry right? What do you want to eat?"

Usagi paused and thought for a bit.

"I want octopi sausages, and scrambled eggs"

I frowned and sighed.

"Usagi you always want that!"

I laughed, I couldn't help feeling that the time I could laugh with Usagi was getting shorter and shorter.

_I don't want times like this to end_

Usagi smiled and shrugged.

"I can't help it Misaki, you make the most amazing eggs and sausages"

I hopped over to the kitchen and grabbed eggs and sausages from the fridge.

_I'm going to cook Usagi the best meals he's ever tasted!_

I grabbed an apron, I decided to finally wear the heart one Usagi bought me a while back.

_This apron is so embarrassing_

I blushed as I cracked the eggs into a frying pan and set them onto the stove top, I the poured cooking oil into another frying pan and tossed in the sausages that I had cut into octopi. While I waited for the food to cook,I grabbed some plates and forks from the cupboards then placed them on the dining table. Usagi happily sat down at the table. He then went to light a cigarette, I froze.

_Usagi... Why?.._

I snatched the cigarette out of Usagi's hand and tossed it into the trash. I was trembling.

_How could you Usagi..?_

Usagi looked at me with surprise then realization spread across his face.

Don't tell me you forgot..

_How could you forget that you're **dying..**_

"Misaki I-I'm sorry... I didn't meant to upset you.. It a habit"

Usagi sounded genuinely sorry, I still couldn't suppress my feelings however.

_How could I suppress them when the one I love is dying_

"Don't you dare smoke again!"

I couldn't help but yell, I just didn't want Usagi to shorten his life anymore. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Misaki I-"

I smelt that the food was close to being finished.

"Oops, gotta take theses of the stove"

I purposely cut off Usagi, I knew that my tears would end up falling.

_I don't want you to die Usagi.._

**Usagi POV**

I took a breath then breathed out, I didn't want to tell my Misaki. I didn't want to hurt him.

_I don't want to leave you.._

"Misaki... I...have two months left... To live.."

_It's funny, I never would have thought that I would have to leave Misaki.. __Boy was I wrong.._

"Oh.. I see, well I guess we better make all the memories we can"

I could tell Misaki was forcing himself to smile.

_Misaki, I hate when you pretend to be okay.. __Be spoiled for once, I want to spoil you in my time left.._

"Misaki.."

My voice was low and Misaki quickly turned away from me so I couldn't see his face.

"Usagi let's go home, you're better from you fatigue right?"

His words surprised me, I expected him to show sadness.

_Misaki.. You're in pain.. __Stop trying to hide it.. __I want you to be happy, I don't want to see your tears anymore. I owe you so much, because of Misaki.. __I am who I am.. __I don't want my death to burden you.._

"Yes I am.. Misaki.. I-"

"Okay then what are we waiting for let's go"

Misaki cut me off, I could tell he was nowhere near okay.

_Misaki, I've been with you long enough to tell when you're not okay.. __I will make sure that by the time I have to leave, Misaki will be able to live happily on his own. __My time I've already spent with you is precious._

Misaki insisted that we were to take a cab home, it surprised me because usually he tells me that I should conserve my money.

_Misaki thank you for worrying about me.._

When me and my Misaki arrived home I quickly paid the driver then followed Misaki into our apartment.

Then Misaki turned towards me and smiled.

"Usagi you're hungry right? What do you want to eat?"

I paused to decide what I wanted.

_Any food is fine as long as Misaki makes it, so I'll choose something easy._

"I want octopi sausages, and scrambled eggs"

This earned me a frown and a sigh.

"Usagi you always want that!"

Misaki laughed, a true laugh but it still sounded a little odd.

_Misaki I love your laugh, even if its not fully filled with happiness, I understand that of course you're upset..._

I smiled and shrugged.

_Misaki's homemade food is Misaki's homemade food, simple. I just love your cooking_.

"I can't help it Misaki, you make the most amazing eggs and sausages"

Misaki swiftly prepared the sausages and eggs, he even put on the apron I lovingly picked out for him.

_As I thought I looks good on him_

Misaki was blushing as he cooked. He looked really adorable. I happily sat down at the table Misaki had prepared.

Out of habit I went to light a cigarette, I noticed Misaki freeze. He then swiftly snatched the unlit cigarette out of my hand and tossed it into the trash. My Misaki was trembling.

I looked at Misaki shocked then I realized my mistake.

_Oh god.. I forgot.. __I've ended up hurting Misaki, he was already upset.. I can't believe I just did that...__Especially in front of Misaki.._

"Misaki I-I'm sorry... I didn't meant to upset you.. It a habit"

I could'nt believe I tried smoking when I had lung cancer, I didn't want to see Misaki's sadness.

"Don't you dare smoke again!"

Misaki's tone was flat and forceful.

_I didn't expect Misaki to be able to raise his voice like that.. __Even when he always yelled at me.. __When my dad tried splitting us up. __Even when he scolded me about street lights. __Misaki never once used such a tone towards me. __I'm so sorry.._

"Misaki I-"

I could see tears welling up in his eyes, Misaki noticed the food being ready.

"Oops, gotta take theses of the stove"

_My Misaki cut me off.. __Again.. __How afraid he must be? __I can't even imagine.._

_**Thats the end of this chapter~~~ I really hope you enjoyed it ^_^**_


	5. Chapter 5 : Deadly thoughts

**Poor misaki... Anyway still no editing~~**

**Chapter 5 : Deadly thoughts**

**Misaki POV**

I managed to escape that awkward confrontation with Usagi. Thankfully the food had finished cooking so I scooped out our servings onto our plates. I gave myself a lot less than usual.

_I want Usagi to eat yummy food_

Usagi raised a brow when I sat down with him, pretending to forget what had happened.

"Misaki.. Isn't that not enough?"

I could hear the worry in Usagi's kind voice, I shook my head.

"No Usagi I'm fine.. I don't have much of an appetite"

That was a valid excuse and it was true, I actually didn't feel hungry at all. Usagi looked at me with concern.

"Misaki.. You need to eat you can't starve yourself"

I shook my head and quickly scooped up the few forkfuls of eggs and three octopi sausages I had given myself.

"I'm full Usagi I really am, I'm going to go for a walk okay?"

_I'm sorry Usagi, I know I should be spending all of my time with you but.. I need time to think._

"Misaki wait, want me to go with you?.."

The concern in his voice was obvious.

_I'm sorry for making you worry..I promise I'll come back_..

"No Usagi! It's cold out, I don't want you falling ill again"

Usagi opened his mouth to say something but I stuffed one of his octopi sausages into his mouth with my fork. The look of surprise on his face was hilarious.

"No buts Usagi, I'm going for a walk, alone"

I used a teasing voice then left Usagi to his food. I grabbed the new brown coat Usagi had bought me and put on my shoes.

I quickly ran out the door and ran until I reached the park me and Usagi once built snow mans at. I had to run before Usagi changed his mind and decided to follow me.

_I don't think Usagi could find me right away now_

I stopped running and started to walk along the street, not paying attention to anything except for traffic lights, as I pondered over my thoughts.

_I'm scared.. I'm so scared, I can't believe this is happening.. __All because I didn't stop Usagi from smoking.. I wish it was me instead.. __I should be the one dying, not Usagi.. He has so much success in life... While me? __I'm just a kid who doesn't know what to do with their life.. __Usagi's life is more valuable than mine.. If only there was a way to switch who was dying.._

I walked until my legs felt tired, I looked around and realized I was on a old bridge that went out of service a few years ago. I leaned on the handrail for rest, surprised about where I was.

_How did I get here?_

I sighed and looked down at the bottom, it had a semi-shallow fast moving river underneath. I spotted fishes and began to admire them, happy that I had fish to distract me.

_Heh, maybe I'll hop down in two months_..

I heard the handrail start to crack and I felt myself falling forward, Everything was moving slow, I heard the sound of car tiers and I saw Usagi almost at me, he was reaching out his hand to catch me, fear filled his lavender eyes.

**Usagi POV**

Misaki escaped from our confrontation how he usually did, he changed the topic. I was slightly happy that the foods smell had interrupted us.

_I don't want to argue with my Misaki_

I raised a brow, as Misaki gave himself barely any food and filled my plate.

"Misaki.. Isn't that not enough?"

I was worried that he would keep only eating little morsels of food from now.

_I don't want Misaki to fall itools well.._

Misaki shook his head.

"No Usagi I'm fine.. I don't have much of an appetite"

_I guess that's a decent reason.. I don't blame him for not having an appetite but still.. That's not enough food_

I looked at Misaki concerned.

"Misaki.. You need to eat you can't starve yourself"

Misaki didn't listen, he just shook his head and shovelled his food down quickly, barely chewing.

_Misaki that's dangerous.. You could have choked_..

"I'm full Usagi I really am, I'm going to go for a walk okay?"

_A walk? Why would he want to go have a walk? It's freezing out._

"Misaki wait, want me to go with you?.."

_I didn't want to leave him alone_.

"No Usagi! It's cold out, I don't want you falling ill again"

I opened my mouth to argue but Misaki stuffed one of my octopi sausages into my mouth surprising me.

"No buts Usagi, I'm going for a walk, alone"

Misaki sounded teasing then he grabbed his coat and shoes and ran out the door.

_Maybe some time alone would be best for Misaki after all... __Maybe he needs time to begin to accept that I'm going to die. Maybe he is afraid of what will happen when I'm gone... __Wait.. What will happen? __Will he be forced to go back to Takahiro's?.. That won't do.. Misaki would be upset that he was disturbing them even though Takahiro adores him. __Will Misaki live on his own?... No.. He can't afford to.. He'd never accept any money I would leave him.. __Misaki... You must be so anxious and confused.._

I looked at the clock, it had been a few hours since I allowed Misaki to go off on his walk, worry was beginning to gnaw at my stomach.

_I don't care if Misaki gets mad, I'm worried_..

I went outside and started to search for Misaki in my red sports car, I spotted him in the distance, he was leaning lazily on the old bridge.

I sighed with relief and started driving towards him, I exited the car and started to walk towards Misaki, he didn't seem to have noticed me.

I suddenly heard a sickening crack, the handrail Misaki was leaning on broke. Misaki started to fall, I ran towards Misaki with my arm outstretched, terrified of losing him, Misaki's eyes were filled with fear.

**hehe... Anyway hope ya enjoyed le chapter~~**


	6. Chapter 6 : Care for each other

**It's a short chapter... Hmm well anyway this is a old story of mine so yeah, that's how I decided to split up chapter back then...**

**Chapter 6 : Care for each other **

**Usagi POV**

I Reached my arm out towards my Misaki, his arm was reaching for mine also. I was about to pull my Misaki to safety when I felt Misaki brush away my hand.

_Misaki... Why?!_

He smiled at me as he fell down into the rapid river below.

"MISAKI!"

I cried out desperately as I saw my Misaki hit the water, I fell to my knees and looked over the edge of the bridge, hoping to see the familiar form of my Misaki swimming.

My heart clenched when I didn't see him surface, and instead I saw the water turn a faint crimson hue, I felt like I was going to be sick.

_Misaki... You're alive right? You just got a little scratch?_

Oh who am I kidding?

I ran to the side of the bridge where I would be able to climb down.

_Oh Misaki.. You better be okay.. __Please be alright._

I rushed down the slope and hopped into the water, it scared me. It was only waist deep for me, not deep enough for Misaki to be unharmed.

"Misaki! Misaki! Please! Answer me!.."

My calling was mixed with crying, I frantically searched the river but I couldn't find him.

_Wait.. This is a river! Me must have went down stream.. He never was the best swimmer! __Yeah! He probably just couldn't fight the current.. __Also, it's too shallow for him to drown!_

I followed the current, unease clawing at me as I couldn't find my Misaki.

_Where are you?!..._

I suddenly caught sight of a Misaki on the shores, he was coughing up water and his arm had a huge gash in it.

_Misaki... __I'm so relieved_

**Misaki POV**

I was falling, I reached out my hand towards Usagi's, but then I stopped.

_The momentum of me falling and my weight would take Usagi with me.. __I'm sorry, I don't want to die right now but I don't want you to die quicker_

I felt Usagi's hand make contact with my own, I brushed it off and smiled as I fell.

"MISAKI!"

I heard Usagi cry out, his voice broke my heart. He sounded so .. Broken.

When I hit the water, It felt like I had hit pavement, it hurt so much. As I thought the water wasn't deep enough, I had placed my arm behind me beforehand, hoping it would hairs my back.

Luckily it worked, I felt no pain in my back instead, I felt my arm being torn and the water around me turned red. I couldn't see, but thankfully I was alive thanks to my quick thinking.

I tried to resurface but the current was strong, I couldn't fight it. I desperately clawed the water, I needed air, but my efforts were to no avail. I felt searing pain as I was forced to take a breath of water, the feeling of it entering my lungs stung so much, my eyes would have watered if I wasn't under water.

_Usagi help... __It hurts so much!_

I felt some reeds brush past me, I grabbed them desperately and pulled myself out of the river. I began to cough up the water I had inhaled for the longest time, every cough was filled with effort.

**I think I wrote this in a small spurt to stop myself from killing Misaki, that met be the reason that this chapter is so short... Anyway hope you're happy Misaki lived and enjoyed the mini chapter~**


	7. Chapter 7 : Why did you do it?

**I still don't edit~~~**

**Chapter 7 : why did you do it?**

**Misaki POV**

"Misaki!"

I looked over painfully and saw Usagi, he was dripping wet and he was rushing over to me with a look of relief and concern on his face. If that was even possible. I smiled at Usagi, happy that he had looked for me, I knew that I wouldn't be walking for a few minutes and I didn't want to be alone.

"H-ey Usagi..I think I'm okay- I just have a scratch.."

I had trouble speaking through my coughing, Usagi was now at my side and he bagan patting my back in an even rhythm to help with my coughing.

"Misaki... What were you doing there before you fell..?"

Usagi's voice was filled with anxiety, as if he was fearing a certain response.

_Does he think I was debating on jumping?.. I don't want to die yet.. I was just looking at fish._

"I was looking at the fish"

I coughed, I felt Usagi become less tense as if a big burden had been lifted from him.

_So he really did think that.. __Don't worry Usagi.. __Not yet.._

"Misaki.. I have an important question.."

I looked at Usagi confused, his lavender eyes filled with worry.

"Sure Usagi ask away"

"Why...did you... Brush away my hand"

Usagi's voice was filled with so much hurt, I didn't expect to hurt him, I had just wanted Usagi to be safe for as long as possible.

I looked at Usagi, upset that I had caused trouble for him once again. Even though he doesn't have much time left.

"I.. Didn't want you to fall with me, I'm sorry, it's not that I didn't want to be saved, it's the complete opposite Usagi! I wanted to be saved , I don't want to die.."

Usagi pulled me close and hugged me, his warmth was welcomed greatly because I was freezing.

_I'm sorry for worrying you, it's true I don't want to die. __Not yet anyway.._

"Misaki.. Lets head back, it's cold out"

Usagi's breath warmed me, I nodded and allowed Usagi to help me to the car. I was still weak from the shock.

As Usagi drove us home, I kept blowing into my hands to warm myself up. I glanced over at Usagi.

_He must be freezing.. __I'm sorry, I shouldn't have caused so much trouble_.

I leaned against the window as we drove home, watching the cars pass us.

"Usagi.. I'm sorry.. I've been causing you so much trouble lately.."

Usagi's hand ruffled my damp hair like he usually does, he glanced over at me then looked at the road again, the kindness in his lavender eyes made me feel slightly lighter inside.

"Misaki it's not your fault, accidents happen.. As long as you're okay.. That's fine with me"

_Usagi.. But what about me? You're not okay.. I'm so worried about you.. __Those same words apply to me as well._

**Usagi POV**

"Misaki!"

I called to him as soon as I saw him, my poor Misaki was drenched like a drowned kitten. I was so relieved that my Misaki was okay.

_Thank the gods I found you.._

My Misaki looked over at me, he had a pained expression on his face as he smiled at me weakly. I couldn't express the joy I felt by seeing my Misaki alive.

"H-ey Usagi..I think I'm okay- I just have a scratch.."

Misaki seemed like he was having trouble speaking, he was coughing fiercely as he spoke. I went to my Misaki's side and started to pay his back, hoping that it would help with his coughing.

_Misaki_..

"Misaki... What were you doing there before you fell..?"

I was anxious, I didn't want his reason to be the one I had in my mind.

_Please don't say to die.. __You're too young and have a full life ahead of you_..

"I was looking at the fish"

Misaki coughed as he spoke, I felt relief flush through me.

_Misaki.. You're such a kid at times..__Well, that's fine, __I like this response better than my fear..__But if that's true.._

"Misaki.. I have an important question.."

Misaki looked at me confused.

"Sure Usagi ask away"

"Why...did you... Brush away my hand"

Him falling isn't what had made me so upset. I wanted to know why my sweet little Misaki would have brushed me away when I tried to save him.

He looked at me slightly upset.

_Why would he be upset about me asking? __Misaki?_

"I.. Didn't want you to fall with me, I'm sorry, it's not that I didn't want to be saved, it's the complete opposite Usagi! I wanted to be saved , I don't want to die.."

I couldn't believe Misaki's words.

_He thought of me, even when his life was in danger.. Oh Misaki.._

I pulled my shivering Misaki close to me, I couldn't resist hugging my adorable and kind Misaki.

_Misaki.. How many times have you thought of others before yourself? You're such an angel, my sweet angelic Misaki_

"Misaki.. Lets head back, it's cold out"

_I don't want you getting sick_

Misaki nodded and made a motion for me to help him up, I couldn't believe he did that.

_Misaki almost never asks for help...__He must feel very weak.._

As I drove Misaki home, I kept stealing glances towards the shivering Misaki, he seemed like he was freezing. Surprisingly I didn't feel that cold at all, even though I had also been drenched in this cold weather.

"Usagi.. I'm sorry.. I've been causing you so much trouble lately.."

_Misaki you're never troublesome_

I ruffled his hair, it still felt damp, I glanced over at Misaki. I wanted to see his emerald eyes.

I then put my sights back to the road. Not wanting a car accident.

"Misaki it's not your fault, accidents happen.. As long as you're okay.. That's fine with me"

I truly felt that way, I just wanted Misaki to be as happy as possible.

_You deserve happiness, you're an angel to others. __You care about others more than yourself... __And for that, I want your happiness to be eternal_.

**hehe chapter ended... Hope enjoyed joyed it~~ anyway if you're wondering why nut notes are always so short.. It because I didn't want notes to bump up the word count ~~ that's the stories job!**


	8. Chapter 8 : How can I help you?

**... A big pain in uploading . but at least it finally worked... Berry no edits~~**

**Chapter 8 : How can I help?**

**Misaki POV**

Usagi had driven us home and we were now in the living room.

"Usagi, I'm fine! Stop fussing over me!"

I yelled as I tried to push the silver haired man off of me, he had been trying to apply medical attention to my arm. Failing completely.

"Misaki, you're hurt! I need to help you!"

Usagi whined as he held down my good arm to reduce my mobility. I looked at the mess of bandages on my arm and sighed, my arm felt so bulky and it really wasn't serious at all.

"Usagi, it already stopped bleeding, I'm fine!"

I managed to knock away the first aid his with my foot, when Usagi went to grab it I wormed my way out of his grasp.

"Misaki there was so much blood in the water.."

Usagi was frowning at me his lavender eyes looked were filled with concern, I sighed.

"Usagi blood spreads out when it's put in water, it may have looked like a lot but it actually wasn't. If it was, our clothes would have been stained red"

_I hope my explanation makes Usagi feel a little better._

Usagi knelt down towards me and held my left hand.

"My Misaki, I'm sorry I just love you so much that I can't help but worry for you"

His voice was like silk and his lavender eyes were filled with compassion. I couldn't stop the blush from spreading across my face. I pulled my hand away.

"Baka Usagi!"

I went to walk away from him but he wrapped his arms around my neck and leaned on me.

"Misaki, you're just too cute"

His breath tickled my ear as he whispered.

_Usagi... __How can you say such embarrassing things... __Baka Usagi.._

My blush deepened at Usagi's words, he smiled a smile I hadn't seen in a while. His sly one. I turned towards him.

"Misaki"

Usagi took a step towards me, I took a step back, this continued until my back was against the living room wall.

"Wh-what?"

I asked, I was completely flustered, Usagi moved closer so his arm was resting against the wall, he looked down at me, his eyes were shining.

"I want Misaki"

Usagi's words made me blush even more, if that was even possible. He went to kiss me but he suddenly dropped to his knees and went into a coughing fit.

"Usagi!"

I crouched right away and checked on him, he seemed to be in pain.

_Usagi... __What do I do?! __Should I call the hospital?_

"Misaki.. Water.."

Usagi's voice sounded broken through his coughing fit.

I ran to the fridge and took out the jug of water I placed in when we got back from the hospital. I hastily poured Usagi a glass of water then ran it over to him, he drank it but his coughing continued.

_Usagi.. Is this because you got wet when it was so cold out? __Because I fell, you hopped in the water? __You were already ill.. How could I be so stupid as to make your immune system be suppressed.. __I'm so sorry.._

I had absolutely no idea how to help Usagi, the only thing I could do was sit by him and pat his back.

I couldn't call an ambulance, it's just a coughing fit. But even so, seeing Usagi in pain hurt me.

**Usagi POV**

I drove my injured Misaki home promptly, when we arrived. We entered the living room.

_I've got to tend to Misaki's arm_..

I grabbed the first aid kit right away, I remembered where it was from when I accidentally poured hot water into a glass and broke it, resulting in a cut finger.

"Usagi, I'm fine! Stop fussing over me!"

Misaki yelled as he tried to stop me from wrapping more bandages around his arm.

_Misaki... I want to help.. __You got hurt and I wasn't fast enough to help you.._

"Misaki, you're hurt! I need to help you!"

I whined as I held down my Misaki by his uninjured arm.

_You will be treated!_

_I won't let you neglect your injuries Misaki!_

I noticed Misaki sigh as he looked at his bandaged arm.

_Does he appreciate my perfect skills? __My Misaki will be healed in no time!_

"Usagi, it already stopped bleeding, I'm fine!"

Misaki kicked the first aid kit away and escaped from my clutches when I went to pick it back up.

_Misaki_..

"Misaki there was so much blood in the water.."

I frowned, the images of the redness in the water flashed through my mind.

_I... Was so scared.._

"Usagi blood spreads out when it's put in water, it may have looked like a lot but it actually wasn't. If it was, our clothes would have been stained red"

_That... __I guess he has a point.. __Misaki.. You're so strong, __I just can't stop loving you.. __I want you to stay mine and mine only.._

I knelt down in front of my Misaki and held his left hand, it felt so delicate and soft in my hands.

"My Misaki, I'm sorry I just love you so much that I can't help but worry for you"

I smirked slightly when a blush covered my Misaki's face. Then he pulled his hand away out of embarrassment.

_How can you be so cute Misaki?_

"Baka Usagi!"

My embarrassed Misaki tried to walk away from me but I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned on him.

_I'm not letting you get away Misaki_

"Misaki, you're just too cute"

I breathed into his ear, and I felt him shiver in surprise.

_Oh Misaki, you're so adorable.. __It's hards to resist.._

I saw my Misaki's blush deepen and I smiled slyly, knowing that I wanted to get my fill of Misaki. He turned towards me to face me fully.

"Misaki"

I took a step towards him, Misaki cautiously took a step back this continued until my Misaki was trapped with his back against the wall.

_My dear Misaki, __you can't escape me_

"Wh-what?"

Misaki asked, he was completely flustered, I leaned against the wall and looked down into Misaki's emerald eyes.

_Oh I think you know what_

"I want Misaki"

Misaki's blush went even redder, I went to kiss my sweet Misaki but a sudden pain exploded inside my chest. I felt myself drop to my knees, unable to stand as I entered a fierce coughing fit.

"Usagi!"

Misaki yelled his voice betrayed how worried he was.

_I'm sorry Misaki, I'm worrying you.._

My Misaki seemed confused, like he didn't know what to do, my throat was hurting greatly from the coughing.

"Misaki.. Water.."

I struggled to speak through my coughing, it was just like earlier however this time, the pain was worse and almost too unbearable for me to cope with. Misaki left me coughing as he ran to get me water, he quickly returned afterwards and handed me the glass. I gratefully drank it but it didn't seem to help.

_I'm sorry Misaki.. __You must feel so scared right now.. I'm okay.. I'm just coughing... __It's only normal for me to cough right?.._

Misaki sat down beside me and patted my back, I could tell how worried he was.

The coughing hurt tremendously but since Misaki was with me it didn't hurt as much as it should have.

_As long as Misaki is by my side I can beat anything.._

**hehe hope** **ya enjoyed this chapter~~~ ^_^ hehe**


	9. Chapter 9 : It's because I love you

**still no editing~~**

**Chapter 9 : It's because I love you**

**Misaki POV**

I was helpless in helping Usagi, I couldn't do a thing. I felt like I was useless and lost. I watched Usagi as he painfully coughed, I could feel tears threatening to fall.

_No..__I've got to stay brave for Usagi.. __If he sees me crying.. __It'll only make him upset and blame himself..even though he's blameless.. __Everything is my fault_

I rubbed my hand in circles on his back, it was the only thing I could think of doing. I could feel the effort it took Usagi to cough, he saw in so much pain.

_I can't help.. __I wish this was all a bad dream_..

Usagi coughed for around ten minutes then, I felt his body relax as I was patting him and Usagi slumped forward, I coughs him in my arms.

_You should be in a hospital.. __But I know you would be happier being at home.. __I can't be selfish.. __I will make sure you're the happiest person in the world Usagi_..

I checked Usagi's pulse timidly and sighed with relief, he had just passed out from the exhaustion from coughing so fiercely for so long. I lifted Usagi over my shoulder with great effort, I carried, half dragged him over to the red sofa, there was no way I could safely carry Usagi upstairs.

I looked at Usagi's sleeping face, it looked so peaceful, even though he was in so much pain. I couldn't stand Usagi being so hurt, but of course the only thing I could do was stay at his side.

I went and grabbed a blanket from our room the draped it over Usagi, not wanting him to get a chill as he slept. I smiled at his sleeping face sadly then went to my room to get changed out of my dirty clothes. Afterwards I examined the messy bandaging Usagi did to my arm, it looked hilarious. I didn't think anyone could have been capable of such bad bandaging skills, I sighed at unwrapped my arm.

The cut stretched up from the edge of the my back hand to by elbow, it was a thin line and was only half a centimetre deep I was thankful that I got away with such and mild injury. I applied disinfectant to my cut, causing my to wince slightly before I bandaged my arm neatly. Afterwards I returned downstairs to see Usagi sitting up on the sofa, the sight of him awake made happiness overflow within me. I quickly ran to his side.

"Usagi you feeling better?"

I asked cautiously, doing my best to just show a little casual worry instead of the unease that was swirling within me.

Usagi looked at me, his lavender eyes seemed a little foggy, I stepped closer to him.

"Usagi?"

He glanced at me in surprise.

"Ah sorry Misaki I was thinking about something, what did you say"

Usagi..

_Are you as worried about yourself as I am about you? __I want to wash away your unease and pain.. __I want to but.. __I don't know how.._

I smiled at Usagi.

"I just asked if you were okay, so are you?"

I leaned close to Usagi and examined his expression closely, looking for any signs of pain. Usagi opened his mouth cautiously to respond.

"I... Don't know how I feel.. I just have this numb feeling inside of my body.."

His voice was void of emotion, I looked at him shocked that he actually told me he was suffering.

_If he's admitting this much.. __Then the truth is that he actually feels a lot worse than that.. __Usagi.. I'm sorry.. __I wasn't going to force you to the hospital but now.. __I am.._

"Usagi... You're going to the hospital..Now"

My voice was firm, making Usagi look at me with surprise, he shook his head, his lavender eyes were filled with sadness.

"I don't want to.."

He sounded like a little kid, this made me angry. Usagi was dying and in pain and he refused to go to the hospital where his pain would lesson. I balled my hands into fists, I glared at Usagi.

"We're heading to the hospital, I will not let you disagree. I hate seeing you in so much pain!"

I yelled at him sadly. I felt bad about guilting him to go to the hospital but I knew there was no other way. I looked into Usagi's eyes, they were filled with sadness. He nodded slowly and got up to get his coat and shoes.

_I'm sorry Usagi.. __I love you.. __So I have to hurt you for your sake... __Please forgive me.._

When me and Usagi were ready we drove over to the hospital silently, not one of us daring to say a word.

**Usagi POV**

The fierce coughing was exhausting, I couldn't move, it was like I was paralyzed in pain. Each bout of coughing brought up extreme waves of pain to resonate within my chest. I was so glad that Misaki was by my side.

_Misaki... __You're so precious you care so much, even though you're in so much emotional pain. __I may be in pain, but you're so sensitive and precious to me. __You're like my guardian angel.. __Always, always worrying for me.._

Misaki's hand rubbing on my back felt so soothing for me, even though the coughing took so much energy and caused me so much pain.

_I'm sorry for causing you worry Misaki..._

I coughed for around ten minutes with Misaki by my side, I felt my strength fading and my vision was faltering, I didn't resist the temptation to close my eyes. I knew I would be fine, Misaki was with me.

I saw my Misaki was crying, I went towards him so I could comfort him but I just went through him when I went to touch him.

"Usagi... Usagi... How could you... Leave me... All alone... Why?!... I love you yet.."

Misaki was sobbing as he knelt beside a grave, my heart dropped instantly when I read the name on it 'Usami Akihiko' I was helpless to sooth my beloved Misaki, I could only stand there and watch him cry his heart out.

I felt like a knife had been slowly pushed into my chest

_How could I let Misaki suffer?! __It's so cruel... __The kindest person in the world has to suffer so much.. __This just isn't fair.. __My poor dear sweet Misaki will be all alone.. __I don't want him to be.. It's not .. Misaki doesn't deserve this.. Not at all.. He deserves to be blessed with happiness.. Not cursed with sadness.. __Oh Misaki.._

"Usagi.. Can I join you?"

Misaki's words made my blood run cold, he was smiling sadly towards my grave and had picked up a shard of glass that was probably from a old broken bottle.

_Misaki no! Please don't!_

I saw Misaki's arm holding the piece of glass go speeding towards his chest.

_MISAKI!_

I opened my eyes and saw that I was in the sofa, I breathed a sigh of total relief.

_It was just a dream.. __Misaki's safe.. __Oh thank god it was a dream.._

I sat up on the sofa, I noticed that Misaki had place a blanket over me.

_He's so.. __Kind.._

I heard Misaki come down the stairs then he ran to my side.

"Usagi you feeling better?"

I heard Misaki ask, I looked at my dear Misaki.

_He's alive and well.__My Misaki is perfectly fine.. __There's no need to be anxious.. __He wouldn't really do something like that.. __Would he?_

"Usagi?"

I glanced up at Misaki surprised, I had forgotten he was next to me as I thought.

"Ah sorry Misaki I was thinking about something, what did you say"

Misaki smiled at me sadly.

"I just asked if you were okay, so are you?"

He had leaned close to me, as if he was searching for any traces of me lying

_I should tell him how I feel.. Even though it might make him upset_..

I opened my mouth cautiously as I though about how I was going to respond.

"I... Don't know how I feel.. I just have this numb feeling inside of my body.."

It was true, I couldn't feel anything except for pain.. I didn't mention the pain part because I didn't want Misaki to freak out. However Misaki looked at me, his emerald eyes were wide with shock and his mouth was open.

_Misaki?... __Maybe I shouldn't have told him..._

"Usagi... You're going to the hospital..Now"

Misaki's voice was firm and demanding, telling me by surprise, I got over it quickly and shook my head I looked up into Misaki's emerald eyes that were brimming with worry.

_I don't want to leave you..__I want to be by your side... __I want you by my side... __I'm sorry Misaki for being selfish_

"I don't want to.."

I noticed Misaki tense at my words, he balled his hands into fists and glared at me, fury was sparking inside of his emerald eyes. I've never seen Misaki so angry at me before, it sort of scared me.

"We're heading to the hospital, I will not let you disagree. I hate seeing you in so much pain!"

Misaki yelled, his voice was filled with so much anguish that I couldn't stare it.

_I'm sorry Misaki.. __I'm the worst...__Hurting you so much.._

I sadly got up and put on my coat and shoes, Misaki did the same.

_I can't believe how awful I am.. __How can I keep hurting the one I love?!_

When me and Misaki were ready, I drove over to the hospital slowly, regretting how much I've been hurting Misaki. I didn't dare speak during the ride

**nya~ it's a long** **chapter neh? Anyway hope ya enjoyed it!**


	10. Chapter 10 : worry for you

**Short chapter~ **

**Chapter 10 : Worry for you**

**Misaki POV**

When we arrived at the hospital I made sure that Usagi checked himself in right away. I didn't want there to not be enough rooms. I felt so guilty for making Usagi go back to the hospital.

_I want you to get better.. __I know that your sickness isn't cured easily.. __But still.. __I want you to get better even so, I don't want you to leave me.. __I know I'm selfish.. I'm sorry_

"Usagi, don't worry I'll stay by your side. I won't leave you, I promise"

I smiled guiltily at Usagi as he laid down on his assigned hospital bed. He didn't look happy at all to be here but when I told him I would stay with him. His mood brightened significantly.

"Misaki, you don't have to feel guilty, I understand why you're forcing me to be here"

_Those words.. __I'm causing him to worry about me he should be worrying about himself.. __However, I can't help but be happy from those kind words_..

I had been looking at my feet but when Usagi spoke I looked up at him surprised and happy. Usagi's lavender eyes were filled with kindness and understanding. I could feel tears start to well up in my eyes.

"I'm sorry! I'm just so afraid of losing you, if there is any possible way for the doctors to help you.. I want them to.. I'm sorry"

_Please stay with me Usagi.. __Don't leave me.. __I beg you, please don't leave me.. __Alone_

I was leaning on Usagi's bed, my head in my arms, I didn't want to lose the person precious to me. I felt Usagi pet my hair softly, I lifted my head up, eyes still full of tears. Usagi kindly placed his hand on my cheek and smiled.

"Misaki, it pains me to see you so sad.. I promise I'll be okay, so you don't need to worry anymore"

Those words were the ones I needed to hear, I felt as if I could believe him and everything would be okay. I smiled at Usagi and held his hand in mine, I loved Usagi's kind hands.

_Usagi.. You always seem to make me feel better.. __But at the same time, you're able to break me so easily..without any effort. __Only you can make me feel like this.._

**Usagi POV**

When me and Misaki arrived at the hospital he hurried me inside and up to the check in desk.

_I'm sorry Misaki.. __For you to act like this you must really be scared.. __I hope my nightmare doesn't come true.._

When we were assigned a room, my Misaki didn't waist any time in dragging me to it.

"Usagi, don't worry I'll stay by your side. I won't leave you, I promise"

My Misaki smiled guiltily at me as I laid down unhappily into the hospital bed. I felt relieved that Misaki told me he was staying with me.

_That's all I need Misaki. __Thank you so much, but I don't like you feeling sad over helping me_

"Misaki, you don't have to feel guilty, I understand why you're forcing me to be here"

Misaki who had been looking at his feet with guilt looked up at me with surprise and happiness, his emerald eyes shined brightly.

_So he was feeling guilty after all.._

I noticed my Misaki's eyes begin to glisten with tears.

_Misaki? You seemed so happy a second ago_

"I'm sorry! I'm just so afraid of losing you, if there is any possible way for the doctors to help you.. I want them to.. I'm sorry"

Misaki leaned on my bed, he was on his knees frying into the bed sheets. I made my heart hurt at seeing Misaki so upset.

_If that's how you feel.. I'll stay here obediently so you don't have to worry Misaki_

I petted my Misaki's soft brown hair, causing my dear Misaki to lift up his head to look at me. I placed my hand on his year stained cheek and smiled.

_Misaki you're so dear to me_

"Misaki, it pains me to see you so sad.. I promise I'll be okay, so you don't need to worry anymore"

Misaki smiled at me, like my words are ones he was longing to hear so badly. It made me feel lighter seeing Misaki happy again. He held my hand within his own hands, making me feel incredibly warm inside.

_I'll do my best to not leave you behind..__My precious Misaki.. __If I end up failing.. __Please don't follow me, I know it will hurt but.. __I want you to live your life not follow me with death.. __I don't plan on dying.. __It's just in case..I might be forced to leave you.._

_**so how ya like this chapter? I'm curious~**_


	11. Chapter 11 : Good or bad news?

**long chapter... Hmm long + short chapter = 2 medium chapter?**

**Chapter 11 : good news or bad news?**

**Misaki POV**

A doctor came into the room he had raven coloured hair and dark blue eyes, I he walked over to Usagi and began checking his health.

"I'm Dr. Kusama , I will be the one taking care of you Usami-San"

His voice was friendly but professional, when he noticed me he smiled at me kindly.

"Excuse me sir, could you leave this room for a little bit so there is room for more equipment to check on Usami-San?"

I was sad that I had to leave Usagi but I was grateful that Dr. Kusama explained why I had to leave. I nodded silently towards him the turned towards Usagi and smiled and left the room.

_Please be okay Usagi.. __Wait since we're here, we can ask them what they can do to make_ _Usagi better!_

I smiled to myself, happy that there could be an greater chance of Usagi getting better. I curiously placed my head on the door to listen in and sighed when I couldn't hear a thing. I moved away from it so there wouldn't be a repeat of me falling into the room again. I realized that I was much calmer then the last time I was here.

_I guess it's because I know what's wrong with Usagi and it's not much of a surprise anymore. Also I guess being the one to force Usagi to come here also helps_.

I looked at the clock ticking away, I began to get bored and wanted to go and explore the hospital. I shook the thought out of my head.

_It'll just cause problems for others, plus if I'm gone when Dr. Kusama comes to get me Usagi might worry._

After a long time of boredom I heard the door click open, I got up from my crouching position and almost fell, luckily Dr. Kusama caught me by the arm.

"You okay?"

He had a worried tone in his voice. I then realized I recognized him from somewhere.

_The flower shop!_

"Yeah, It seems I sat too long and my legs fell asleep"

I laughed, Dr. Kusama laughed kindly.

"Usami-San wants to see you"

_Of course he does_

I smile at Dr. Kusama then go back to Usagi's side, he was sitting before like how I left him but he didn't look to happy.

"Usagi what's wrong?.."

I didn't like the look on Usagi's face, I made me feel like something was terribly wrong. He looked at me sadly and forced a smile.

"Takahashi-Kun.. It seems Usami-san's cancer has gotten worse from a sudden drop to his immune system that allowed it to spread, he now has less than a month now"

I froze at Dr. Kusama's words, I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe one word of it.

_Sudden drop in his immune system.. __The bridge.. __It's my fault.. Usagi's closer to death because of me... __I...I'm killing Usagi! __I didn't stop him from smoking.. I made his immune system to drop.. Because of me... __It's all because of me.. __I'm sorry Usagi.._

"Oi Misaki!"

Usagi's call snapped me out of my thoughts, I smiled at him. Not wanting Usagi to notice how I know that he's dying because of me. I didn't want him to pity me or feel bad that I know it's my fault.

"Yes Usagi?"

Usagi looked at me with worry filling his lavender eyes.

_Don't worry about me, worry about yourself Usagi.._

"Misaki.. It's not your fault.."

I frowned, not happy that Usagi found me out so soon.

"Usagi... It's fine.. I'm used to knowing when I'm to blame.."

I looked away from Usagi, unable to meet with his eyes out of fear he'll be able to peer deeper into my thoughts and feel worse.

I turned towards Dr. Kusama , with hope in my eyes.

"Is there any treatment you're able to give to Usagi to make him better?"

My heart sank when Dr. Kusama shook his head with a sad expression in his eyes.

"I'm afraid not.. If he was diagnosed sooner we would have gave him special treatment.. However right now there is nothing we can do but keep him alive, we can't get rid of his cancer, his lungs are too weak for any type of operation we could try to do. It would ultimately lead to a quicker death.. I'm sorry Takahashi-Kun"

I dropped to my knees, I didn't have the energy to stand.

_Usagi can't be saved... __He's going to die for sure..__It's all because of me.. __Me being selfish and falling... __Me being selfish for making him worry.. __Usagi is going to die for sure because of me... Everything is my fault... __As always.. __I should be the one dying.. Not Usagi.. His life's more valuable then mine.. __I don't deserve to live.. I'm killing Usagi.. It's like I'm poison.. Causing trouble..killing..worry..selfish.._

**Usagi POV**

A doctor came into the room, I recognized from the time I visited Hiroki. He walked over to me and began to check on my health. He seemed like a very kind person.

"I'm Dr. Kusama , I will be the one taking care of you Usami-San"

_Seems Hiroki got himself a nice lover, I hope he'll be able to cool of that hot head of his_

His voice was friendly but professional, when he noticed me he smiled at me kindly.

He smiled at my Misaki, as if trying to make him feel better. It would have bugged me if I didn't know that he was already in a relationship.

"Excuse me sir, could you leave this room for a little bit so there is room for more equipment to check on Usami-San?"

_Misaki.. __He looked really sad for a second then he smiled at me and left. __I don't want you to leave either Misaki.._

When Misaki left Dr. Kusama pulled out a bunch of medical equipment. I understood why Misaki had to leave, if he stayed he would have been forced against the wall unable to move so that he wasn't in Dr. Kusama's way.

"Usami-San, how does your chest feel?"

I looked at the doctor, there was no reason at all to lie.

"I can't feel any pain at all, a hour ago it felt like It would be torn apart. But now I can't feel a single bit of pain inside me"

I noticed concern flicker across him, it was like he was thinking something.

"Usami-San.. That may be due to your nerves blocking away any pain sensors received from your lungs. It's probably due to your body wanting to protect itself hence destroy or eliminate the pain"

Dr. Kusama's explanation seemed to make a little sense, I remembered reading something about nerves sending signals.

_Basically my body couldn't handle the pain, well at least Misaki won't fuss over me being in so much pain anymore._

"Usami-San I'm now going to do a few examinations on you're lungs to see how for the cancer has increased recently"

I nodded and just let Dr. Kusama do his thing with the machinery. After a long while he sighed as he looked at some results on paper.

"Usami-San... The cancer has indeed increased, has there been any reason for your immune system to drop so dramatically?"

I nodded, remembering when Misaki fell, I flinched at the memory.

_Misaki is going to blame himself again.._

Dr. Kusama told me how much time I had left then went to retrieve Misaki.

I heard something about falling and legs falling asleep and laughed slightly.

_Misaki's always such a kid_

I saw Misaki smile thankfully at Dr. Kusama before he came over to my side.

_Misaki I'm sorry.._

"Usagi what's wrong?.."

I couldn't bare to tell Misaki the news, I didn't want him to break because if me. I didn't want the nightmare I had to come true. I forced a smile towards Misaki, hoping that Dr. Kusama would tell Misaki the bad news. I was thankful and slightly sad when he did.

"Takahashi-Kun.. It seems Usami-san's cancer has gotten worse from a sudden drop to his immune system that allowed it to spread, he now has less than a month now"

I saw Misaki freeze, he had a look of horror on his face.

_Oi Misaki, what the hells going in in that head of yours! __You better not be blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault!_

"Hey Misaki!"

"..."

"Misaki!"

"..."

"Oi Misaki!"

I finally snapped my Misaki out of whatever awful thoughts he was thinking inside of his head. There was no reason at all for him to think that way at all. I hated seeing my Misaki hurt.

"Yes Usagi?"

I looked at my delicate and innocent Misaki sadly, knowing the thoughts he was thinking. He was the type of person who always found a way to blame himself. A very selfless person.

"Misaki.. It's not your fault.."

He frowned at me, I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Usagi... It's fine.. I'm used to knowing when I'm to blame.."

_Oh Misaki... __All your life you've blamed yourself for your parents death... __Don't tell me just like them you're going to blame yourself for my death_..

Misaki looked away from me, as if afraid of me reading his emotions any more.

_It's too late Misaki.. __I already know you blame yourself.._

Misaki turned towards Dr. Kusama he seemed to have a strand of hope glittering inside of his emerald eyes.

"Is there any treatment you're able to give to Usagi to make him better?"

Dr. Kusama shook his head and I saw that strand of hope inside of Misaki flicker away and replaced with despair.

_Misaki... __I'm sorry... If only I listened to you.._

"I'm afraid not.. If he was diagnosed sooner we would have gave him special treatment.. However right now there is nothing we can do but keep him alive, we can't get rid of his cancer, his lungs are too weak for any type of operation we could try to do. It would ultimately lead to a quicker death.. I'm sorry Takahashi-Kun"

My poor Misaki dropped to his knees as if he didn't even have the strength to stand anymore.

_Misaki... __I don't know how to end your suffering... I want to but I just don't know how... __Seeing you like this breaks my heart Misaki.. Please..get up.. Be strong.. Life for yourself.. Please Misaki.. Don't worry about me.. Live happily_

_**hmm how ya like this chapter? Please tell~**_


	12. Chapter 12 : Lesson

**Hehe I still don't edit~**

**Chapter 12 : Lesson**

**Misaki POV**

_I deserve to be dead.. __The only thing I'm good for is causing trouble_

" I should die..."

I didn't realize I had spoken out loud I suddenly felt a stinging pain in my cheek. I looked up and saw Usagi glaring at me with tears in his lavender eyes.

"U-Usagi? Why?..."

I was extremely confused why Usagi had hit me, Usagi knelt down beside me and grabbed my shoulders in his hands gripping them tightly.

"Usagi..that hurts.."

I winced, Usagi lessened his grip and looked me in the eyes.

"Misaki, don't you EVER say you should die! Do you hear me? You are the most kind and selfless person I have ever met. So don't you dare think of ending you life again if you did I'd.."

Usagi's words faded away as his voice began to crack. I couldn't comprehend the weight of what I just said.

_I didn't mean to say that.. __I'm sorry.. __I can't believe I said that in front of Usagi.._

I could feel my tears going down my cheeks. I pulled Usagi close and cried into his shirt.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that Usagi.. Please forgive me.."

I felt Usagi remove me from him, I looked up at him in shock.

"Usagi?.."

I couldn't understand why Usagi pushed me away from him, he's never pushed me away from him before.

_Does he hate me?... __I wouldn't blame him if he did.. __Though I'd still feel upset.._

"No Misaki I don't forgive you"

I couldn't believe it, I never once thought Usagi would say such harsh words to me. He's always been so caring and gentle.

"I'm sorry.. I'll leave.."

I went to go leave Usagi so he didn't have to see me ever again but he grabbed my wrist firmly. I looked back at him confused.

_Didn't he just say he didn't forgive me?.. __So then why is he stopping me?.._

"Usagi?... Why?"

I could feel that my voice was little more than a whisper, I felt so broken knowing that Usagi won't ever forgive me.

"Misaki I won't forgive you because you thought you should die. I love you, do you know how much it hurts when the person you love says they want to die Misaki?"

I could feel the hand Usagi was grabbing me with begin to tremble. I looked at Usagi sadly because I did know what it felt like to know someone who I truly love was going to die.

_I'm sorry, I didn't realize how_ _much it hurt you Usagi.. __I should have known better, me knowing that you're going to die soon hurts so much and that's not even your choice of dying. __Me? I said I wanted to die in front of the person who's most precious to me_..

I nodded to Usagi sadly fully understanding what angered him enough to slap me. I heard Dr. Kusama cough loudly to get our attention. My face went bright red, I had forgotten that he was here.

_I can't believe this all happened in front of someone.._

"Usami-San, you need to rest, you may not feel any pain but your body needs to avoid anything that could put stress on it"

Usagi nodded and went back to his hospital bed, it somewhat confused me. I had thought that people with cancer had a lot of pain and were unable to move easily because of this.

_Since Usagi doesn't feel pain he's able to force his body to move? __That can't be healthy at all..._

I looked at Usagi with a determined expression then pointed at him.

"Do not leave that bed at all, I want you to be alive as long as possible. I know it's selfish but since you're not in pain you should make your life last as long as possible"

Usagi looked at me in shock, then he smiled at me. His lavender eyes were no longer filled with sadness, they were now filled with kindness.

"As you wish Misaki"

He said it with a smug tone as if he was mocking me. I glared at him

"Baka Usagi!"

This caused us to both begin laughing, poor Dr. Kusama just stood there in the room looking quite confused.

**Usagi POV**

_Misaki I think that the world would be a lesser place without you. __I want you to Cherish your life.. __I wish I could make you realize this.._

" I should die..."

_What did he just say?! __Misaki..._

I couldn't believe my innocent Misaki wanted to die. But I had no choice but to believe because he had just said that right in front of me. Images of my nightmare once again flashed through my mind.

_Misaki no!_

I couldn't contain my anger at Misaki, I got up and slapped my Misaki across the face hoping to snap him out of his foolish thoughts. Misaki looked up at me, confusion swirling inside of his emerald eyes. I could tell that I had tears in my eyes but I didn't care.

"U-Usagi? Why?..."

_Did you seriously not realize what you said Misaki?! __We're those words spoken unconsciously? __Misaki..._

I knelt down beside my Misaki and grabbed his shoulders tightly.

"Usagi..that hurts.."

I noticed Misaki wince from the pain, I loosened my grip, not wanting to harm him but still wanting to hold his shoulders like that. I looked Misaki in the eyes, angry at him for wanting to die. I wasn't just angry, I was mostly sad that my sweet Misaki felt like that.

"Misaki, don't you EVER say you should die! Do you hear me? You are the most kind and selfless person I have ever met. So don't you dare think of ending you life again if you did I'd.."

I felt my voice crack, it didn't bother me however.

I noticed Misaki began to cry, I felt slightly guilty about causing him to cry but I didn't give in to wanting to soothe him. He needed to understand something. My Misaki pulled me close and began crying into my shirt, I could feel my shirt begin to get soaked.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that Usagi.. Please forgive me.."

_Misaki.. I'm sorry but I'll make you understand.._

I removed Misaki from me, he looked up at me slowly, his emerald eyes were filled with shock.

_I'm sorry.._

"Usagi?.."

_Misaki I'm going to make you learn something.. It'll hurt you I know.. But still.. I want you to understand.._

"No Misaki I don't forgive you"

My words looked like they made my Misaki shatter. Saying those words hurt me also.

"I'm sorry.. I'll leave.."

_Misaki.. I won't let you escape like you always do_

He got up to leave but I quickly grabbed my Misaki's wrist firmly, making sure he wouldn't be able to escape my grasp. He looked at me with extreme confusion.

_I knew you would be confused.. It's only natural.. I say harsh words then stop you from leaving.._

"Usagi?... Why?"

My poor Misaki's voice was barely more than a whisper, that told me how broken he felt.

_I'm sorry Misaki..maybe I was a little too harsh.. __No.. I need to be to get my point across_

"Misaki I won't forgive you because you thought you should die. I love you, do you know how much it hurts when the person you love says they want to die Misaki?"

I could feel my hand start to tremble, the thought of my innocent Misaki killing himself was just too much for me. My Misaki looked at me sadly as if he understood how I felt.

_Misaki.. Thank god.._

He nodded at me then we heard Dr. Kusama cough. We both looked over at the raven haired ban who had witnessed everything. I noticed my Misaki was blushing.

_You're so cute Misaki_

"Usami-San, you need to rest, you may not feel any pain but your body needs to avoid anything that could put stress on it"

I nodded, I understood where he was coming from so I obediently went back into my hospital bed.

My Misaki looked at me determined and pointed at me.

"Do not leave that bed at all, I want you to be alive as long as possible. I know it's selfish but since you're not in pain you should make your life last as long as possible"

His words shocked me, my Misaki was actually being slightly selfish towards me. I felt so happy that Misaki was thinking of what he wants instead of putting others before him. Yet his words also showed he was also thinking about me. I couldn't help but smile at my Misaki

"As you wish Misaki"

I used a teasing tone just to play a joke in my Misaki. This earned me one of his usual glares.

"Baka Usagi!"

This caused us to both begin laughing, poor Dr. Kusama just stood there in the room looking quite confused. It felt like there was nothing wrong at all during that moment of laughter

**Hehe hope ya enjoyed this chapter** ^_^


	13. Chapter 13 : I love you for all of time

**I'm happy off you made it this far~**

**Chapter 13 : My love for all of time**

**Misaki POV**

I stayed with Usagi during the month, I only left Usagi's side to go to school and get new clothes. I didn't want to leave Usagi alone. Hi didn't act like he was getting weaker but I could tell that as the time went by, his completion was getting visibly more pale and he was getting thinner by the day. Seeing Usagi like that scared me. He was never in any pain but Usagi was spending most of his time sleeping. When he did sleep, I would always hold his hand and pray that he would stay with me. I knew it was selfish, Usagi wasn't even able to do basic things anymore, he couldn't even hold a fork so I always fed him and joked with him. Doing my best to look happy and make him happy. It was painful to be by his side, to slowly watch the one I love slowly become frailer and weaker right before my eyes.

After three weeks, I had just returned to the hospital from school.

" Hi Usagi!"

I called happily as I walked over too his bedside, he smiled at me weakly. Hie kind lavender eyes lit up when I arrived.

"How was school Misaki?"

It was great me and Sumi-Sempai helped work on posters for a bake sale together, though it wasn't that great when my demon of a teacher threw his ruler at me. Can you believe it? It was metal he could have harmed me badly!"

This news caused Usagi to laugh, I loved how he laughed.

"Misaki, didn't I already tell you to stop seeing that Sempai of yours?"

"Baka Usagi! How many times do I have to tell you that Sumi-Sempai is a good guy and just a friend!"

I was happy that Usagi was acting like himself even in his condition, it always made me slightly believe Usagi was going to be okay.

_I know I shouldn't get my hopes up... __It'll only end up with me becoming more upset when the time comes.. __When Usagi has to leave me.. __When he does I'll join him_

I had made it so that I never showed my sadness in front of Usagi ever again, I made sure I always smiled and laughed with him. I couldn't let my own sadness cloud over Usagi's happiness, if I did I would begin to hate myself. I didn't want Usagi to sense this so I stored away those feelings when around him. It was simple because I was used to doing that kind of thing, I've always been doing it ever since I made my parents die, so it was easy to do it with Usagi.

"Misaki, you're so special to me I love you"

My face went red at Usagi's words, I looked away embarrassed.

"What are you saying Baka Usagi?!"

I heard Usagi chuckle slightly, he lifted his hand up weakly and took my hand in his. His fingers felt so thin and bony, as if there was no skin at all. However the warmth in them was still the same as always and made me feel better.

"But it's true Misaki, I love you so much..."

"Usagi you're acting weird? What's wrong?"

Unease was flickering inside of me, Usagi was suddenly acting unusual and I didn't know what to do.

"Nothing... I'm just tired.. Do you mind if I rest?"

_Maybe Usagi's acting strange because he is just overly tired_

I nodded my head and smiled, happy that Usagi was just tired.

"Of course Usagi, please rest well"

"Misaki.."

"Yes?"

Usagi's voice suddenly sounded very tired.

"Be brave okay..?"

"What's that supposed to mean? Usagi I don't understand"

"It's nothing... It seems I'm just blabbing meaninglessly from exhaustion"

I sighed as Usagi closed his eyes and fell asleep calmly, he always looked so peaceful while sleeping, even though he was so weak. I yawned.

I might as well fall asleep as well, I leaned on the bed and fell asleep, my hands still within Usagi's hands. My dreams were all happy, I dreamt of all the time I spent with Usagi and I also had a dream where Usagi got better and we could go home together, we smiled and laughed together, I yelled at him and he always won our arguments.

I woke up a while later, my hands had begun to feel cold. I opened my eyes to see my hands were still in Usagi's.

_Why are they so cold?_

I got up right away and looked at Usagi, he was still.

"Usagi?.."

I felt my heart pounding against my chest as I didn't get a response from my silver haired lover.

"...Usagi?..."

I placed my head on his chest, I heard no heartbeat.

_No... No.. This can't be happening... He had a week left! Usagi!_

I hit the buzzer and Dr. Kusama came rushing in, the raven haired man didn't ask any questions. He went straight to Usagi and began to examine him. After a few seconds he backed away, his head hung low.

"I'm sorry Takahashi-Kun it seems Usami-San died a few hours ago... It seems like he pulled out the heart monitor so as not to alert anyone"

I couldn't believe his words. I looked at Usagi, tears were spilling down my face.

_You left me... __How could you leave me? __Usagi... __I'll join you shortly..._

'_Be brave okay?'_

Usagi's words flashed through my mind.

_No... __I can't die... If I did.. __Usagi would want to see me again..._

I cupped the face of my lover in my hands and smiled at him.

_Usagi.. __Please wait for me Kay? __I'll join you when my time is rightfully up.. __So please be patient?_

_I love you..._

_Akihiko_

**USAGI POV**

My time in the hospital went by swiftly, it was filled with happiness whenever my Misaki was by my side. He was almost always with me so I was often happy. I spent a lot of my time sleeping but I always had this warmth in my hand as I slept, it was comforting. I couldn't do much on my own, I didn't mind though because it allowed me to be babied by my precious Misaki, he even spoon fed me. However I could tell I was looking weaker, when I looked at my hands I was always shocked by how bony they were. I loved how my Misaki was able to smile so kindly towards me, he still loved me even though I was slipping away from his grasp. I could tell I was fading.

I had been in the hospital for three weeks, Misaki had just arrived here after his day at school. I could feel that this was my last day, I couldn't tell how but I just had the feeling.

" Hi Usagi!"

Seeing Misaki's cheerful face lit up my mood, I smiled and greeted the emerald eyed boy that I loved so much.

"How was school Misaki?"

"It was great me and Sumi-Sempai helped work on posters for a bake sale together, though it wasn't that great when my demon of a teacher threw his ruler at me. Can you believe it? It was metal he could have harmed me badly!"

_Silly Misaki.._

I laughed at the way my Misaki was brimming with energy as he spoke about his day.

"Misaki, didn't I already tell you to stop seeing that Sempai of yours?"

"Baka Usagi! How many times do I have to tell you that Sumi-Sempai is a good guy and just a friend!"

I wanted to act like everything was normal, I wanted to slip away without any hassle or extra grief for my innocent Misaki.

_I want you to live Misaki.. __I'll do my best to leave you in a way that will not shatter your fragile heart.. __I'll make sure you won't kill yourself_

Even though my Misaki was always smiling and laughing, I knew he was actually upset on the inside. I didn't want to bring it up before because I knew that if Misaki knew that I knew, he would hate himself. I knew he would because I've been with him for so long now that my little Misaki was so predictable and easy to read. He may have been able to fool Takahiro, but I won't allow my Misaki to fool me.

"Misaki, you're so special to me I love you"

_I want to give you the strength to live_

Misaki's face went red and he looked away embarrassed.

_You're just so cute.._

"What are you saying Baka Usagi?!"

I couldn't stop myself from chuckling, it felt like old times together. I took my Misaki's hands within my own, wanting to feel the warmth I love so much.

"But it's true Misaki, I love you so much..."

_I'll love you forever my dear Misaki_

"Usagi you're acting weird? What's wrong?"

I could feel myself getting weaker, I could tell my Misaki was also tired

"Nothing... I'm just tired.. Do you mind if I rest?"

_Rest peacefully I'm not scared, __I know we will meet again_

My Misaki nodded his head looking a little relieved.

"Of course Usagi, please rest well"

"Misaki.."

"Yes?"

I could feel weakness settling into my bones. I knew my time was ending rapidly. I felt somewhat thankful that I couldn't feel any pain.

"Be brave okay..?"

_You're allowed to cry, but please be brave_

"What's that supposed to mean? Usagi I don't understand"

_It means live Misaki , live and be happy_

"It's nothing... It seems I'm just blabbing meaninglessly from exhaustion"

I heard Misaki sigh then I closed my eyes, after a while I felt Misaki fall asleep. Not wanting to cause panic for my Misaki, I unplugged my heart monitor.

_You can't fight death, I can hear it calling. __I'm fine, I've lived with Misaki happily all these years.. __I hope I don't see Misaki again after this for a long time.. I want him to lead a happy life then reunite when his time comes naturally. __My Misaki, you've taught me so many things, you've taught me what it felt like to love and be loved back. __You've taught me that happiness isn't bought with money.. Though I still tried to spoil you because I wanted you to try new things. __Misaki please don't forget me..._

_I'll be waiting for you patiently, if its for you..__I'll even wait until the end of time until I could see your innocent and happy smile again. __I never knew a person could contain so much kindness and selflessness until I met you..so please my dear innocent and sweet Misaki_

_Be brave_

_And live on_

_I'll always love you even after death my love._

I relaxed and allowed my consciousness to peacefully fade away.

**... IT'S NOT OVER! There is afinished sequel called 'Love of the spirit' ! Ill post it in a bit~ anyway I really do hope you enjoyed this story~**


	14. Sequel out

Love of the spirit is out~~ well the first chapter at least anyway~

I'm greatly glad if you'vretread this far and hope you'll check it out

it has fluff angst and humour plus more~


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